


Vows

by Rosa52



Category: The West Wing
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-18
Updated: 2016-08-18
Packaged: 2018-08-09 15:13:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7806799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rosa52/pseuds/Rosa52
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Writer's block.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Vows

Four hours of writing had somehow turned to six. The light that had poured in through the front window had faded into dusk; he should really get up to switch on the lights in the living room, but he was reluctant to quit while words were still flowing. Danny paused to stretch, flexing his fingers as he considered the work he’d completed. Suddenly, the buzz of his cell phone interrupted the tranquility. Danny grinned when CJ’s photo appeared on the phone’s lock screen, but his smile faded to a look of concern almost as soon as he lifted the phone to his ear. “Danny?” CJ’s voice on the line was tight, stress evident in every syllable. “Hey,” he responded gently. “What’s going on?” She took a ragged breath, obviously trying not to cry. “Danny, I can’t do this. I… I’ve been working on it all day, and I can’t make anything happen. Everything I say is… wrong, and –“ “ _Hey_ ,” Danny soothed, “It’s all right – take a breath, OK?” “Can you… Can you come here? Please?” “Yeah, CJ, of course,” came his automatic response. “Don’t worry, all right? You can absolutely do this. Take a break – get up and walk around, give yourself a minute. I’ll be right there.” “OK. Just… Hurry?” When the line went dead, Danny blew out a breath and dialed their go-to Chinese restaurant. He’d bet every cent of his last three book advances that she hadn’t eaten. Carol was out of town, so she’d be running on caffeine and self-incrimination. It was going to be fine, he told himself. Fine.

Dinner arrived at CJ’s office building just as Danny pulled up. Sending up a little prayer of thanks, he tipped the delivery guy and headed for the elevator. As the doors opened, he caught a glimpse of long, tanned legs striding past. She was pacing, he noted, and that was bad – but he still couldn’t keep a smile off his face at the sight of her. She whipped around as he stepped off the elevator, a look of desperate gratitude on her face. “Hey,” he said softly, stepping forward to pull her into his arms. CJ took a deep, shuddering breath and buried her face in his neck. Stroking his hand over her back, he was relieved to feel her relaxing a little. “I brought dinner,” he said quietly. “I figured we could start by feeding you, and then ease back into it.” CJ stepped back, squaring her shoulders with a look of resignation. “We could just elope,” she said quietly, not meeting his eyes. “We could,” Danny responded calmly. He took her hand and squeezed it gently. “Do you want to?” CJ let out a gusty sigh. “No. … Not, you know, actually. We waited so long for this, and I… I want every aspect of it. I want you all to myself and all that, but I figure that’s what the honeymoon’s for.” A little confused, Danny waited, letting the silence hang. CJ smirked. “The wedding’s for showing you off.” Danny managed to suppress a snort, but barely. Behind the jokes, he knew there was real concern for his feelings. Ever since she'd left the White House, it had been clear that CJ was making a point of not hiding their relationship – and, having spent the better part of a decade stealing kisses in dark corners, he had to appreciate that. “You know how I relish being your trophy,” he quipped, leading her back into her office. When CJ made for her desk, Danny tugged her back to the armchairs arranged around a low coffee table. “Let’s keep some distance from it for a little while. Just eat dinner and talk and breathe for a minute.” CJ hesitated for a minute – he watched her struggle with her impulse to get right back to the problem, wondering if she would insist on a working dinner. A quiet flood of contentment hit him when, instead, she smiled and sat down beside him.

“Honestly, I half expected your vows to be written by Toby. Or Sam. I was preparing myself to be looking at you, but hearing the Bartlet speechwriters on our wedding day.” CJ laughed, imagining the vows Toby and Sam would have written for her. “I mean, it’d be easier,” she admitted. “And I’d love to see what they come up with, but I didn’t want either of them in my head when I was trying to talk about the way I feel about you. Because for them to help me, they’d want me to… To dissect the way I love you into anecdotes and policy goals. And then they’d express it for me, more beautifully than I ever could. It would be deeply personal but also universally accessible, perfectly subdivided into soundbites, but it wouldn’t be me. And you’d know, even if nobody else did, because you know _me_. You... love _me_. Even if they tried to put the vows in my voice, they couldn't. Maybe because Sam and Toby wouldn’t really believe that I could tell you how I felt, or maybe they wouldn’t believe that I could feel the way I do about you. They… never really believed in me.” Danny didn’t want her to stop sharing, but he couldn’t just let that one pass. Even as he opened his mouth to protest, though, CJ was barreling on. “What I mean is – they _expected_ me to do anything and everything, whether I could or not. They believed enough to _expect_. But really, in all those years at the White House, the only one who always believed I could do whatever I wanted, whatever I needed, and whatever followed those things – not just handle what got thrown at me - was you.”

Danny didn’t know when he’d taken her hand, but he was grateful to have it in his. He squeezed her hand, allowing himself just a heartbeat’s span of time to cherish what she’d told him. Every response he could think of seemed to fold in on itself, leaving him with just the most central point. “I love you, CJ,” he said quietly. “I always will. And I’ll always believe in you.” CJ still looked miserable. She was going after her kung pao with determination, but it was clear her mind was elsewhere. Suddenly, she looked up at him and blurted out, “I want to read yours.” “My vows?” “Yeah.” The look on her face was transitioning from unhappiness to focus, and Danny couldn’t help but feel a little nervous at being the object of her scrutiny. “See,” CJ began, “I was thinking about it, and it feels like more than half of the things you say to me in any given day could be wedding vows. ‘I want to talk because I like the sound of your voice’; ‘we’re going to get good at new things’; that thing about being partners – you’re _good_ at this.” Accusation was plain in her voice. “So, I want to know what you’re bringing. What I’m up against.” Danny couldn’t suppress his laugh. “ _Up against_?” he exclaimed. “CJ, come on. Every time I tell you I love you, I fall a little short of expressing exactly what I mean. There’s always something left that I feel but never manage to say, and –“ “ _See_?! Can it, Concannon. Don’t sit there racking up points. _Help me_. Tell me what you’re going to say.” When Danny hesitated, CJ’s eyes narrowed dangerously. “Don’t pretend you haven’t written them yet.” Danny held up his hands in a mea culpa gesture. “I’ve written them.” Thinking back to the hours of writing he’d put in that day – much more time than he’d expected to need, considering that he had never been slow about declaring his feelings for CJ – he amended his statement. “Or at least, I’ve written something. It’s hard for me, too, you know.” CJ growled, and Danny took the hint. “OK. So, ah, what I have so far is – “ Danny paused, taking a moment to remember. CJ's hand was still clasped in his; he lifted it to his lips, just for the hell of it. She was tense, she was frustrated, but she loved him. She loved _him_ , and she wanted to say so in her own words, in front of everybody who was important to them. This was going to be fine.


End file.
